Well, well, well, my dear conservative comrades. It’s another glorious Friday, and I have some delightful news for you. It seems that Rozella, a concerned member of the possum shaving cooperative (yes, you heard that right), has taken it upon herself to address the grave issue of the lack of seriousness among her fellow cooperative members. Because, you know, nothing screams seriousness like a group of people dedicated to removing hair from possums. Truly, a pressing matter for the ages.
But that’s not all, folks. In a twist that could only be described as a flashback to the infamous year of 2020, our dear former president, the “empty husk in the Oval Office,” decided to grace us with his wisdom. On the anniversary of George Floyd’s death, he couldn’t resist perpetuating the false narrative that Floyd was murdered by suffocating due to police violence. Ah, yes, let’s keep those lies alive and kicking, shall we? It’s not like the truth matters or anything.
And who could forget the Summer of Riotous Love and Mostly Peaceful Protesting? Ah, yes, those were the days when Black Lives Matter and Antifa joined forces to spread their magic across the nation. They were the lucky ones, allowed to host superspreader events while law-abiding citizens were confined to their homes. It’s heartwarming to see how the Democrats worshiped at the altar of Black Lives Matter, even though some of their leaders seemed a tad shady. But hey, questioning a Marxist organization is just a one-way ticket to RAAAAAAACISM, isn’t it?
Oh, but wait, there’s more. It appears that the financial woes have hit Black Lives Matter. Apparently, their funds are dwindling faster than you can say “compliance and transparency issues.” Turns out, the leaders of this noble organization have been busy enriching themselves rather than helping the black community. Who would have thought? But fear not, my dear conservatives, for they will surely find a way to replenish their coffers and continue their mission of self-enrichment. After all, grifting is an art form that they have mastered with flying colors.
So, there you have it, my fellow conservatives. A glimpse into the twisted world of lily-white Democrats pretending to be social justice warriors, while secretly lining their own pockets. But let’s not question them, shall we? They already got what they wanted, and the rest of us can just sit back and marvel at their genius. Ah, the wonders of modern-day progressivism. It truly warms the heart.